75. Recovering Postpartum after a VBA2C

Have you ever stood in awe of the sheer strength and resilience that embodies the journey of childbirth and recovery? Together with Rachel, my sister, we share a heart-to-heart on the sacred dance of birth, the raw power of the postpartum period, and the tender moments of early motherhood. Rachel's candid storytelling brings us into the delivery room and the birthing center, painting a portrait of the physical and emotional landscapes that shape the postpartum experience, from the adrenaline-charged hunger of labor to the warmth of a baby's first embrace.

Welcoming a new life into the world isn't just about the birth itself; it's an intricate tapestry of experiences that continue to unfold long after. Rachel opens up about the stark contrasts in recovery between C-sections and vaginal births, and the reality of navigating postpartum anxiety and hormonal shifts. As we explore the controversial topic of placenta consumption, we offer personal insights into the broader conversation around postpartum healing aids, and the profound impact these choices can have on a new mother's journey.

As Rachel reflects on breastfeeding challenges, such as navigating infant tongue ties, she highlights the importance of healing her own body while nourishing a newborn. Our conversation isn't just about the physical aspects; it's a deep dive into the emotional and spiritual recovery that accompanies the postpartum phase. 

Join us as we unwrap the societal pressures of "bounce-back culture," celebrate the slow and personal return to physical well-being, and recognize the powerful transition into motherhood. This episode is an invitation to wrap yourself in the shared stories of birth, recovery, and the potent transformation that defines becoming a mother.

Transcript

Rebecca Twomey: 0:33

Hello and welcome to the Radiant Mission podcast. My name is Rebecca Twomey and I'm here with my amazing co-host and sister, rachel Smith. Hey guys, we are on a mission to encourage and inspire you as you're navigating through your life and with your relationship with Christ, and today we're back talking about birth and I had to make a good joke to get Rachel to smile. So we're still laughing about that. Well, I'm laughing because you're like smiling like a crazy person. Yeah, I'm smiling like Brooke did when I took her to get her first haircut and then after the lady's like smile, do your after picture and she looks so wacky, oh my gosh. And now that's our picture forever. Yeah, that's cute. Michael's like her hair does not look right. I'm like it's just the way that she's doing things here. Anyway, and the smile, and the crazy smile Welcome everybody.

Rebecca Twomey: 1:38

We're back talking about God's design for birth and last week we left off. Rachel's baby has now been born and she went through a huge journey with that whole thing, as we know, because we just heard the story. Yeah, so now what? Now you have a baby and it's your first baby that you've had in a couple of years. You haven't had newborn around the house. How's that been? How you feeling? No, it's, uh. Yeah, there's ups and downs, every day is a roller coaster. So, yeah, we'll get into all that. But, yeah, last time we kind of cut off at me catching my own baby, snatching him out of Chris's hands, his grass, his one and only job. Yeah, so I wanted to talk a little bit about how recovery has been, or how it was. I mean, now I'm seven months postpartum. Yeah, so you've had a marginal birth. You've had C-section recovery switch. How different were the two? How different did you find it recovering from C-section to now? Like it's because it's different, it is not the same, right? Yeah, so to go back to the story of, to kind of just describe how recovery was, like right from you know the get go. He was born in May in the afternoon. His name is Haven Samuel I don't even know if I said that and his actual birth story is his name.

Rebecca Twomey: 3:27

So, yeah, I, as soon as he was out it was, it felt like I've heard women say this before that you're kind of like high on the hormones, but it was like an adrenaline rush. Yeah, yeah, exactly, but there was just so much adrenaline from like how physically tolling it was for me. Well, they say it's like running 10 marathons or something. Yeah, it felt like me. Getting him out at the end was like those stories you hear where like a mom lifts up a truck that her child is stuck under or something Like that is it was supernatural strength. I feel like that. I finally got him out after three hours of pushing, like I was beyond the end of my strength and I'm only even kind of recapping this part because it goes into how my recovery went is it was so physically tolling of. So once I was at the end and pushed him out I think I mentioned last time I was on the birthing stool, which is one of, like I think, the most ancient ways of giving birth.

Rebecca Twomey: 4:42

It's actually even mentioned in the Old Testament. Yeah, look at you going back, throwing back. Yeah, did not plan that, but in the story of Moses, when he was a baby and the Pharaoh was ordering, you know, all the Hebrew babies to be thrown or to be killed by the midwives, they actually said that they mentioned the birthing stool in that story. So that's kind of cool, but anyway. So it had the rope hanging from the ceiling, and so I'm mentioning this because I was pulling up on that rope with all my strength to push him out and this is important for my recovery, because I had no muscle. I did not prioritize working out or keep maintaining muscle. You know, exercising in that way in my pregnancy. So that's what to me is miraculous that I was even physically able to do what I did, like being in a squat for hours and pulling my whole weight of my body when I was not in physical shape in that way, is just miraculous. So I say that to say my whole body was like, it was like ran over by a train after that. So you know, he was born and this is kind of a difference in you know, and not being at home birth or hospital. You know, you were there.

Rebecca Twomey: 6:08

So my initial recovery was I got to the bed. We had the golden hour with the baby where all the midwives left. It was just you, me and Chris and the baby. We kind of recap like how crazy that was and you guys just praising how amazing I was and just you know, getting to know little Haven and starting to try to nurse a little bit. And I did notice right away with him that he didn't really latch Like. He wasn't really like. I was trying to get him to latch but he wasn't really doing anything and I'm sure he was exhausted because he was stuck with my birth canal for hours and his oh.

Rebecca Twomey: 6:59

This is another thing I just wanted to mention because I thought it was funny. Is you know how baby's heads are like all cone shape when they come out? Yeah, his was cone shape, but like this top side of his head because of the way he was coming down. He's just had a huge lump on the side of his head because he was asygletic. He was coming out from right, which is exactly coming out. Yeah, so, yeah, so. And then his poor little face was all bruised, so he was like really black and blue and red because he was in my it.

Rebecca Twomey: 7:35

To me it's crazy, with the bit now going through the way I have with the baby. Yeah, the baby goes through a pretty, pretty big trauma there, a physical trauma, I mean. I hesitate to use the word trauma. I hope that it's not traumatic for them, but it seems like it could be. I think it physically is, though, because it's. They're being like squeezed with every contraction, and I did kind of want to touch on this because it's going to play into how the rest of recovery has been, of answering your question how it's been having a newborn in the home is his baby, his birth. While it was great and I'm so glad we did it the way we did, I really do think it was physically hard on him and that has played out in other ways in his newborn days and you know we'll get into that in a minute.

Rebecca Twomey: 8:35

But so you know, in the early hour then I hadn't delivered my placenta yet. I mean, this is this one I'm getting into. All this is totally different than the C sections that I had is. Then my midway came into check on us after about an hour my placenta hadn't been delivered yet and I remember you asking me something about if I felt like pushing it out and because I had pushed so long, I'm like the last thing I want to do right now is put like I don't want to ever push you push anything. I don't want to. So I have a quick question for you about your previous births, being that you had C sections.

Rebecca Twomey: 9:13

Did you know anything about the placenta when you had your first and you are having a section like? Was it even something that you thought about, because I've talked to people that don't even know that the placenta gets delivered and they're having a baby, or they learn about it when they're having their first baby. They're like, oh, there's something else coming out. So many people have said that to me. Yeah, I remember, because in my first birth, chris and one of my really close friends were in the OR and she I remember her mentioning how crazy my placenta looked and I hadn't really thought about it and I asked her to take a picture of it because I wanted to see it, but I think they took it away or something before she could take it. Yeah, they'd take it away to go sell for $30,000. Yet we can't do that ourselves their own placenta.

Rebecca Twomey: 10:07

So, and then the second time I did think a lot about my placenta because I was thinking about encapsulating it and then I decided against that. So I thought about it in that way. That's, I guess, the only way that in a C-section they let you have your own organ. Well, hypothetically right, because I had my whole birth plan for them to save mine and I had a C-section and I never saw that. Then, right, they took it and never said a word to me. Yeah, it's crazy to me that they can harvest an organ without our consent Well, without our own organ, without our knowledge of our consent, right Deep in that paperwork we sign off on at the hospital. Yeah, I know that we don't Exactly. That's part of the problem.

Rebecca Twomey: 10:57

Yeah, so with this vaginal birth, I remember my midwife came in. She really wanted to make sure I got the placenta out. At that point she asked if she could feel to see if it had detached. She said yes, it was right there, I could just push it out. I was like I don't want to do that. So I think she kind of just helped it. I'm pretty sure I have video for her too, because my videos have everything from your birth that I do remember it. Let me show it right now. I remember it being at the end, I remember it being right there and us having all these conversations, and then your midwife just kind of like it's right here and she just pulled it and it just plopped out. So, yeah, it was already. Yeah, which is a big difference. There's a big thing that in natural birth you should never yank on the cord to try to rip the placenta out because you never wanted some of the placenta to be pulled off of the wall because it could cause you to have a cramp.

Rebecca Twomey: 12:04

Yes, so mine was detached. It was ready to be born because you have to give birth in the son of two. I just wasn't about to. You're too tired. I was one last week. Oh, yeah, yeah, and it didn't feel good. It didn't hurt that bad, but I was so again. My body, I think, was still. I had a lot of adrenaline running through it, because I don't remember being in a lot of pain then, and so she told me that I didn't tear at all, which is amazing.

Rebecca Twomey: 12:41

I think that is part of the quote unquote blessing of pushing for so long, because he was right there in and out for so long that it just looked like I think that he stretched that area, that disbase, and like yeah, exactly yeah. So he was one ounce shy of nine pounds, so he was a pretty big boy. As soon as he was out, we all guessed on his weight. Yeah, he was 815, and we all guessed on his weight and I was like I think he's going to be over nine pounds or around nine pounds, because he felt big to me. My first was just under seven pounds and my second was just under eight pounds, so he was a full pound bigger than my. It's kind of funny my first two or six times and they were smaller. Yeah, he did. He cooked a week longer than my second.

Rebecca Twomey: 13:35

So, yeah, and so just that initial recovery at the birthing center and then how it works at a birthing center is then you go home. They kind of keep you there to keep an eye on things, make sure blood loss isn't too much, make sure my blood pressure was okay and the baby was okay and all that. And I think we were maybe there for three or so hours after he was born. You and Chris ordered sandwiches and we ate, but again, I didn't even really feel like eating. I know people say they're starving after giving birth, but I just like when I'm running on adrenaline like that, like I like hunger didn't necessarily exist for me, although I did, yeah. So I remember at some point saying to you you're almost there. As soon as you finish, you can have a sandwich or something. And your duo was like she can have a sandwich anytime she wants to, and I was like, well, I have to order it. So yeah, you guys were starving because you hadn't eaten all day, so you were both really waiting and I was like I don't have you, hurry up, we can order. Hey, let's just say so we could place this order. We're starving, which I do remember now that you say that the midwives all ordered pizza for their lunch, since he was born around three in the afternoon, and remember I was pushing for three hours, so they ordered their pizza, and then I started getting pushy and so they hadn't eaten it and it just sat there, because then everybody was coming to deliver something. That's right, yes, and when you were ordering our sandwiches when he was finally born, you asked if they want anything and they said that they had ordered pizza hours ago.

Rebecca Twomey: 15:22

It is one of those things, though, that when you're with birthing mama like when we were all with you I mean we're so focused on things that you're not even really thinking about it you do get hungry, but then it like kind of goes away. And also sometimes you get like unhungry. I felt like it was kind of like that Unhungry. I could see you getting unhungry after the things you saw, but then it cycled back around right at the end. There I'm like all right, is it time for us to order the sandwiches.

Rebecca Twomey: 15:50

Now I do remember you and Chris being very eager to order the sandwiches, and I was just in baby bliss. You're over there enjoying your golden hour. Yeah, we're laying in the bed. I'm like Chris, could I place this now, are you good? We had it loaded up, ready to go, anyway. So you, I don't even feel like you ate right away. You were. You were just chill. I didn't. You were very. Yeah, I needed to. I needed to rest and relax. That's what my body needed.

Rebecca Twomey: 16:23

After all that that I finally was like. It was like running a marathon and just getting to the finish line and like falling on the ground and nobody. I didn't want to move. It reminds me of the time I did a tough hunter without training at all. That's what giving birth is like, so, so it takes. If you want to do a tough hunter or like a Ironman competition without ever having any training, then just don't think about birth, and that's what I'm just. But no, it's true, though. That's why we had the episode on preparation, because preparing is so important because of how physical it is. You know, there's certain things you can do physically. That's what we did, yeah, and while obviously it worked out for me, even though I wasn't physically fit. I still would not recommend, because what I'm about to get into is then.

Rebecca Twomey: 17:18

I think that recovery was a little bit harder. Like I wouldn't say recovery from this birth was a walk in the park. I did not want to walk at all. So I just have heard, not even to my bed. I just have heard women say that right after their natural birth they are like feel great and normal. Well, I don't I who said that. And I heard normal after giving birth, because I don't know about that one. Yeah, well anyway, but I think it was like leaving there, you know, walking out of the door and into the car Again, I was running on adrenaline and all the endorphins and everything. So I felt fine.

Rebecca Twomey: 18:08

I do remember, before giving birth, being kind of nervous of like how is just driving home going to feel when you know, obviously, my down there bits are going to be not in the best place they've ever been and I'm just going to sit in the car for an hour? And also it felt weird and unnatural to like put a little teeny baby who was just inside my body into a car seat covered in flame retardants, like he's just born here, right, yeah, it's a what, yeah. So I think you know beforehand, thinking about that and picturing it felt weirder than in the moment, because in the moment, like I was just ready to get home and so we and the drive home was fine, like I felt fine, it went super fast and we were just excited to get home and see the boys and for them to meet their brother. My oldest son, everett, had been saying for months that he wanted to be the first one to hold him of like people at home, and so we got home and they met their brother and it was, and we didn't get home until probably like nine o'clock at night. It was just getting dark and I was like I feel like when we pulled into the driveway, yeah, yeah, so it was pretty late.

Rebecca Twomey: 19:31

Video yeah, mike took like a 15 minute video of us getting home. We should put Mike in charge of All coming to the recording there, so he was doing interviews with the boys and stuff before you got home and they were all ready to go. It was cute, yeah, and it was. It was really sweet them meeting their brother because they have been wanting a baby for a long time and they were so sweet and cute and your kids. Well, brooke was there, ben was asleep and our mom, and so it was. It was a fun, like you know, coming home.

Rebecca Twomey: 20:15

That to me was totally different than after a C-section, because then you're in the hospital for days. People might come visit you, then days later you go home, and so it was. It was just a really special night. But then it is kind of funny is then it's like okay, now it's like time to go to bed and this baby who was just in my body is not in my body anymore and it was a pretty late night. So that first few hours I felt okay that night, but I barely slept. This is another thing that is just amazes me about the female body is that we can go through the most physically tolling experience and then be handed a baby and not sleep Like I just did that crazy hard thing. I honestly am probably still not recovered from it seven months later because I have yet to sleep through the night. Yeah, you're that when he's a night? Yeah, I will, physically I will.

Rebecca Twomey: 21:24

But yeah, he, the first night with him that was different than with the boys is he was spitting up and choking a lot on fluid, I think like amniotic fluid, that he had swallowed a lot, because they're normal, the first couple of days to a week that they'll be, stuff will come out of their nose and their mouths and stuff, yeah, but I didn't have that with either of my kids. Maybe they just in the junk out of them. Yes, yeah, we never did that. Yeah, right, like we never suctioned him, we just let him be born and he breathed on his own and cried and so. But that was different that night versus the first night with my first two, and it was one of the reasons I wasn't sleeping much, because it was like every time I would lay him down just so I could like close my eyes for a few minutes, he would start choking and then I would grab him up and it was making me really nervous. I think he was fine.

Rebecca Twomey: 22:29

But this is another thing I wanted to mention of my postpartum experience. I actually didn't have this in all of my postpartums, but I did after my first, and this time is something about the crashing hormones. It really kicks up postpartum anxiety for me and I know it's hormonal because it feels very not only irrational but very consuming that I the first few weeks, every time I fall asleep it's like I can't actually get rest, even when I fall asleep, because I have nightmares, and they're mostly nightmares about the baby, like I would, I would, every time I fall asleep, think that I fell asleep with him in my arms and that I was like suffocating him and I would wake up screaming where's the baby. And I did that a lot with my first and I did that a lot this time with Haven, but I don't remember really doing that much at all with my second Maverick. So I think there's, you know, every baby and every pregnancy and every postpartum is different, even among us women, so there's some difference with my hormones. This time that I really struggled a lot with the initial postpartum anxiety and I actually do still feel it lingering a little bit, not so much in the same way they call it like intrusive thoughts will have like really intense visual as it like. I've seen people on social media or something do videos like talking about this, of like you're holding your baby and you visualize yourself just like falling for no reason and crushing your baby, and I've even had it happening with my older kids of just intrusive thoughts that I really only I've always struggled with anxiety, but it's just different in postpartum for me and that's that's why I contributed to hormone so well.

Rebecca Twomey: 24:33

They actually this is kind of the argument for consuming your placenta, which I know you're not a big fan of. This is something that I've obviously looked into a bunch, because I have encapsulated my placenta twice out of three times and what they say is that the placenta it's there's. A lot of people will say like the placenta is a filter and it just filters out all the junk like a liver would. But it's not necessarily. That's not necessarily true. There are also continued stores. It's not just filtering stuff out, it's storing vitamins, nutrients and managing the hormones that are elevated between mom and baby during pregnancy. So those hormones are also in the, the placenta. Even after the baby is born, there's still hormones, there's still vitamins and nutrients inside of it.

Rebecca Twomey: 25:28

And that is why there is this argument towards placental consumption, because they say you're going to put that stuff back in your body and that is why, for some women, it helps them with postpartum depression, because it's basically taking a little piece of those hormones that were essentially ripped out of your body or pushed out of your body, depending on how you had it and it's putting a little bit of that those hormones back in your body. So it helps it to just balance as the first few days or weeks occur, because, if you think about it, you just went from babies inside your body, hormone management, through this placenta. Now everything is out, flush, and then your body is like whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, like this is scary. I don't like how this feels. So that's just something I wanted to mention.

Rebecca Twomey: 26:22

I'm not trying to like try to persuade people to consume their placentas if that's not something that you feel good about. You know everybody's got to go down the path with that. Yeah, I think it's also worth mentioning with that too, and one of the reasons that played into my decision to not consume my placenta is for the same reason is some women have the opposite experience. Exactly. That's true too, because it affects their like. I've heard this many times with women that consume their placenta that they actually get very ragey and as soon as they stop taking their capsules or whatever they are, those are taken. Then that completely yeah. So you really don't know how it'll affect you until you do it yourself, because every woman is different.

Rebecca Twomey: 27:10

The first time that I did it with Ben, I was not feeling so great and I wondered if it was because of my placenta capsule. So I stopped taking them. But it turns out it was because I was using a binder, a bengali binder, and it was jacking me up. So I don't do it like around your waist, yeah, and then I do kind of depression. Yeah, it's not for me, not at the beginning anyway. I have to give it more time, because I also thought my pelvic floor, like I thought my uterus, was falling out. It caused all kinds of discomfort for me to the binding stuff. So it just I never tried that again because it didn't do well for me then.

Rebecca Twomey: 27:54

But I want to mention, aside from just your placenta, there's also some herbs that can help aid in balancing things out. But I don't know if that helped you. Wish Garden has a couple of things that you found that helped you at all. Yeah, I was taking the Wish Garden after ease, I was taking Hawthorne and I was taking another tincture, but I can't remember it right now. But no, it didn't really seem like it doesn't seem like anything helps this, except for in time.

Rebecca Twomey: 28:33

To me it's a part of my body healing, kind of the same, as I don't know I don't hear people talk about this often and I don't know if you noticed this, but I had read about it before is the postpartum BO like your body gives off, like your now literally changes. I had never really noticed this before, maybe because I was too being on like the narcotics after a C-section I wasn't on any pain meds after this one. Obviously, maybe like it kind of stunts some of our sense of smell or something. I don't know, but this time I really noticed it a lot. But there is a purpose behind that is it's the hormones shifting that can really cause you to smell really bad. But also the purpose is to help your baby to learn your scent.

Rebecca Twomey: 29:19

Yeah, so in a way I actually purposely didn't wear deodorant the first like week and then Chris passed out and died and then you had to start wearing it again. I do actually think he said something noticing, but to me it felt like counterintuitive to put on deodorant to cover up not only cover up a smell, but so then my baby is smelling a bad Because it was right there in the armpit too. Yeah, he's always like up in my armpit nursing and all that, so I get showered and stuff. But I just noticed I just thought that was a funny observation of recovery that I had never noticed before is how our hormones affect our smell, and that actually has gone, went away after like a week or two or so. So, yeah, just to kind of get back to the initial first week of recovery oh, this is something I also feel like people don't talk about enough and the pretty much second and third day after having a baby the contractions of our uterus going back down in size.

Rebecca Twomey: 30:31

It apparently gets more painful the more children had the actual pains. I remember noticing it. Yes, I remember noticing it, even though I had C-sections before and I had never experienced labor. I did experience that and after having them and the first time, I remember noticing it. I remember being pretty painful the second time, and especially when the baby is nursing, because the hormones that are released when they nurse it's amazing how God created our bodies is nursing helps your uterus to contract his shrink back down. And this time I can't remember if it was a second or the third night it was very painful. I actually couldn't even sleep. I was in so much pain and I was taking the wish garden after ease, which is supposed to help with that and I was taking a lot and I took some Arnica, but it nothing really helped it.

Rebecca Twomey: 31:32

I've since I wanted to look into that. You remember I sent you afterwards some like herbalist recommended I can't remember if it was like marjoram, some herb oil that you put on your belly button and it can take the pain away or you put it around for you. Yeah, was it rosemary? I think it might have been marjoram. Actually I feel like it was marjoram. Okay, this was like a few months later, but someone said that that can really help with that after pain in your uterus. But I didn't know that and I didn't have that, so it just hurt a lot. It does. So I found that too.

Rebecca Twomey: 32:13

With each baby it's a little bit more intense than the previous one, because we expect that, okay, the baby's born like this is over now, but the uterus has to contract back down. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then just those first two days for me, I literally every single muscle in my body was sore, like even my arms. Just picking up the little tiny baby hurt. I thought you were going to see it in my hands Getting a little bit hurt. You did Everything hurt the.

Rebecca Twomey: 32:48

You and Chris were helping me get out of bed, I think the first two days, because I was just so sore everywhere, and so another difference this time is my midwives were big or are big advocates for staying in bed. Their rule was in bed like don't leave bed except you go to the bathroom for one week, and then for each person in the house at a day. I had also read some people recommend five days in bed, five days around the bed and five days near the bed, so it's essentially like two weeks of not leaving the house. I really tried to stick to that the best I could. This time. I also felt like that's what my body wanted.

Rebecca Twomey: 33:40

Especially the first five days I did not want to leave the bed, so it was nice to have help of you guys were there and our mom was there, so people bringing me food and just staying in bed with the baby I really barely got up. It is kind of funny, though, because after like really three or four days of that, you start to kind of feel like a little crazy. It's great to be in bed all day and all night with your baby, but then you want to like what's going on. There's not a whole lot to do, so, yeah, so that was kind of funny, but I really stuck to that. But after about a week then I started to feel better when I would get up and kind of walk around getting up and kind of like sitting at the table to eat meals instead of eating them all in bed started to really feel a lot better to me. But I really did feel like I kind of went inward and wanting to just stay really close to home and going out felt so foreign to me and just this time around I really wanted to not do. Yeah, you just put things a lot slower and really just recover and enjoy those moments with your newborn and I want to add a little color to this too.

Rebecca Twomey: 35:05

So obviously me and my family were there and mom, so you had a lot of people at your house for someone who was postpartum and something else that we want to throw in here. When we were at your house for a couple of days I think it was like two days Brooke, my oldest, started to develop pink eye. Remember that? Oh, yes, she had gotten it from a neighbor kid and I didn't know that she caught it from him. I knew he had it, but she wasn't that exposed to him and it was like 10 days later after we saw him that we were at your house and then we're like her eyes looking a little funky. So I can only imagine the stress, and maybe that's why I didn't want to leave by bed that much. Yeah, brooke tried to come in there and talk to you all the time. She was just no. It was so cute because she would come into the threshold of my bedroom and she would just talk to me from the door and do her I can do this, look at this. So that was my entertainment for a week. We loved showing at Ray all the things that she can do.

Rebecca Twomey: 36:14

It is funny that you brought that up, because then it was like 10 days after that my boys got it. It ended up getting caught. They got it like the day after we left, right, I think actually it was the morning we left In Mavericks. I was looking a little gooey. No-transcript. Yes, yeah, and so it is funny that you bring that up.

Rebecca Twomey: 36:35

I actually even kind of forgot about that, but it did feel like as soon as the baby was born it was like it's been like thing after thing, health-wise, and everyone in my family, except for me really. So it kind of felt like protecting this baby from everything was a little bit stressful. So, yeah, you mentioning that that probably is why I kind of felt. So I didn't want to leave the house that much Like I really, because it was like the boys had the pink eye but then they got strep throat after that and they got sick and this and that and it just was thing after thing and I would have to keep everyone away from him. I have like the flu or something too. I remember him being sick and saying he can't take care of the baby and he quarantined himself another room. Yes, yes, when the baby was two months old, we didn't know what he had, but he had strep and he stayed in our guest bedroom for like three nights and anyway.

Rebecca Twomey: 37:34

So it's been thing after thing and the biggest thing that isn't necessarily health-wise is breastfeeding. So we're going to do a entire separate episode on that, because it has been a whole thing. Breastfeeding weapons from Rachel Smith, yes, but just to kind of touch on how the initial recovery of the birth, how this has played into it is right after Haven was born, my midwife checked his mouth and he she said he did have a tongue tie, a lip tie and a minor cheek tie and she recommended I immediately bring him to be evaluated for it by a pediatric dentist. And we've done an episode on breastfeeding before and oral ties with your yes, and we have a whole episode on oral ties and we recorded that episode with a lactation consultant when I was pregnant and I had very hard time breastfeeding my previous two and I always at first I always kind of thought it was because I had a C-section, like I didn't release the right hormone, so I never really got milk like I should have. But then, as the more I've learned about oral ties and really started thinking that I would really want to look into this this time.

Rebecca Twomey: 39:07

So I, as soon as my midwife said that I I mean it was like I'm not sitting on this because I did not want it to affect my supply, like I had struggled my first two times, and so I brought him to a dentist that she recommended when he was one week old and she said, yeah, he has a minor posterior tongue tie but a pretty severe lip tie and I really had felt like it was affecting his latch. His latch was painful, it did. Oh, I did want to mention that first night he was born when he was choking a lot. One thing I thought that was very strange is he barely nursed at all the first 24 hours of his life? Like I couldn't even get him to latch to a nurse. I don't think that's abnormal, though. Well, babies, a lot of babies, are very tired after they're born and don't know a lot. Yeah, yeah, but it was like to me it wasn't just that he was sleepy, it was that when I was trying to nurse him he wasn't doing anything, like he wasn't latching. Essentially is what I noticed. And it took probably two days to even get him to kind of latch. But it didn't feel right.

Rebecca Twomey: 40:30

And so I took him out a week old to be evaluated and she did say he had the ties and it was kind of weird because she, on the one hand, was like almost like she would just cut them they do it with a laser right then and there but she was also like, well, it's up to you, and I was like I don't know, it felt wrong to do it to my one week old baby, like I didn't feel good about it, especially because they were like they were taken to another room and I'm like you're not taking my baby away from me, like he's not leaving my site, but I also, I don't know, this was like new territory for me. So she told me to go see a lactation consultant and have them work with me, because this is a whole thing I've learned that we will talk about in our next breastfeeding episode that having a tongue tie, whether you revise it or you don't revise it, there is a lot more that goes into it and there's a lot more therapy that babies need before and after having a revision. So that is something and it's fixed. There's exercises and stuff too, but we'll talk about that. So, right, exactly, yeah, so anyway, the initial few weeks, there was a lot of that. I yeah, it was like I physically recovered well, I, you know my body healed at this point. So that was definitely a huge difference.

Rebecca Twomey: 42:06

Is, you know, you and I have talked about since then the initial few months, like things didn't feel normal to me. It just feels like, yeah, it feels very weird. I also have felt like I have a hard time like holding it when I have to pee, so I've kind of been. I pretty much in the first month was like I think my pelvic floor is like shot. Which big surprise. Like after what I went through, it would be shocking if it was normal. Think about it this way. We just talked about how what you went through was like doing a tough mutter or doing a merit, running a marathon or whatever.

Rebecca Twomey: 42:42

Now think about what happened to all the muscles in your body that have. This is their game. This is, this is the big show, the big Super Bowl for your pelvic floor that has never really does that much just outside of. You know, number one and number two, and now it's the. It's the big for the grand finale, and all those muscles have been pulled, stretched as far as they can go and now they have to work their way back and heal themselves. I almost kind of think of it like you know, when you lift weights, that technically, when you're lifting weights, you're actually tearing the muscles and that's why they grow bigger. I'm sure a lot of that goes on downstairs too, in those muscles that everything is stretched to the max or things that are going to break and need to fuse back together and strengthen back together.

Rebecca Twomey: 43:30

It takes time for that to happen in the body, but because it's so weird for us as women to feel that because we're not used to it. I think that's where this comes from, where we're like I think something's wrong. And sometimes there is something wrong, you know, maybe the pelvic floor is too loose or too tight and there are things that can aid in healing them. So, yeah, yeah, and I was in the first like, after the first month, I was really like I even got a recommendation for my midlife to go to a pelvic floor therapist but my insurance wouldn't cover it and we had a lot of expenses with Haven, with bringing him to the chiropractor and a lactation consultant and a physical therapist and a craniosacral therapist. And so just a spoiler alert for a breastfeeding episode coming up. There was a point that Chris said I have there are so many things we are paying for people to do to this baby just to get him to breastfeed. Like, if it takes this many people to get this baby to breastfeed, is it really worth it? And I was like, yes, we're going to do it.

Rebecca Twomey: 44:47

So I did all the things and all that to say I really kind of put my own health and recovery on the back burner because, like financially and time wise, I'm like I don't have time or energy to go to a pelvic floor therapist for myself, and I say this, though, to say you know what I have talked about this. I then didn't go to the therapy and I was kind of worried about it a little bit for a few months there because I just things didn't feel great down there. But now that it's been more time, I just really thought about it in the past month that I am physically feeling better and more normal. I'm not noticing the same things. So I think to an extent, like you said, it just takes the body time to heal.

Rebecca Twomey: 45:37

Yeah, now, what is it called Bounce back culture? And that's the problem is that everybody says you got to get back to normal within like a week, and then that's it. It takes. I mean, you're seven months postpartum now, right, and I'm five months postpartum and I'm just now starting to feel like my body is starting to feel more like itself, healing wise my stomach and pelvic floor and all that. But it's taken a long time. It doesn't happen in a minute. Yeah, it really does.

Rebecca Twomey: 46:07

And I definitely have tried to take it easy, because I think another thing is in the bounce back culture is women, like six weeks postpartum are immediately like working out and lifting weights, and I'm not hating on that. If that's something that is part of your routine before pregnancy and during pregnancy, then the body probably responds really well to that. Again, to reiterate, I wasn't doing that during pregnancy. So to just take on a workout routine six weeks postpartum would not have gone well for my situation and that's and you know, doing things like that can really not be great for the pelvic floor. I just do walking and things like that.

Rebecca Twomey: 46:51

But now that I actually am feeling more normal physically, I do feel like I'm at the place of like, oh, I really would like to get back into shape, because I feel, I honestly feel like I'm like a thousand years old now. I feel like I feel so it's this is kind of, you know, to kind of wrap up like what postpartum recovery is like. You know, there's the initial where your body has to like piece itself back together, but then there's the grander scheme, like you're not even recovered really a year out. I feel like so decrepit now because I what was mentally, physically both? I just I get up off the floor with my baby and every every Socket what do they call them? Joint? No, like your hips. Yeah, joints, every joint is like popping and cracking and I'll be like limping for no reason, like I just feel physically worn down and not in great shape. I'm not laughing at you, I'm just laughing with you because I'm the same.

Rebecca Twomey: 48:06

My foot is so bad right now my left foot. I literally went around. Well, I have plantar fasciitis and it's gotten worse and, like over the last two weeks, I literally limp around here. Lately it's bad. This is so weird because you and I talk literally every day about everything and all this week, every time I get up, I'm limping and I keep saying to Chris my foot hurts, something is wrong and I don't know what's wrong. Call me after this. Well, we can do. I don't think I can do anything. Mike's worried for me, though. We've got to get your foot fixed. Something's wrong with this thing and I'm like that's really interesting. So is this a postpartum thing then? Like what's happening? Maybe I don't know, I don't know. Sore feet, anyway, yeah, sore feet. Who knew? Like it's, this is just recovery, is it's its own thing, and it's not that easy for everyone.

Rebecca Twomey: 49:07

So would you say that your recovery from a natural birth has been harder, easier or the same. So I would say, physically, mentally, spiritually, rate it Right. Yeah, mentally easier, for sure. Yeah, I think it has been physically easier recovering naturally from my first C-section. But my second C-section I did have an easier time recovering and I do think it was even easier than this natural birth. But I think reasons for that is because I knew what to expect recovering from a second C-section, because I had done it before. So it's like mentally I went into it like this is how it's going to go.

Rebecca Twomey: 49:57

And a big thing when you have a C-section is you need to get up out of bed pretty quickly after and start walking and stuff. And so I would say this time it was this natural birth was physically a little bit harder than my second C-section initially, like the first few days, but after a week I do feel physically like it has been much better. But yeah, there just has been different, yeah, different, the struggle, like this whole pelvic floor thing. I didn't have that with my C-sections. But then again, the mental recovery I have felt much better, like I feel, besides the anxiety, which that is a thing I never have felt, like baby blues. I haven't felt weepy. I felt that a lot after my second C-section Like I would just cry about my C-section all the time, whereas this time I feel really positive. I have felt hormonally happier and more patient. I mean, now I'm getting to the point, seven months postpartum, where I'm having it's come back around to a different struggle because I'm very sleep deprived and tired, but I would say the recovery, mentally and spiritually, has been much better from this. Awesome, all right.

Rebecca Twomey: 51:22

Well, what else do you want folks to know about your postpartum experience? Yeah, so I mean really my postpartum. It has been completely consumed by feeding this baby. That, I think, is just such a testament to motherhood is we can go through something so physically and mentally tolling and we have to put recovering from it on the back burner because next up is focusing on the baby. Yeah, that's why they call it the fourth trimester. Yes, yes, and it has been very, very challenging. In some ways it's been harder than even giving birth, believe it or not. That's saying a lot coming from you who was pushing out an asymptotic baby for three hours. Yeah, I know, that's how hard it's been. That's how hard it's been. So, yeah, but no, it's also been really beautiful and it's amazing to go through it all.

Rebecca Twomey: 52:36

Again that you asked me at the top of this episode how has it been after not having a baby in the house for so long? And I'm older now I'd like to think I'm wiser, but I don't know. But I have more experience under my belt but I'm just kind of more tired. I'm a tired old hag now. It's funny I hadn't thought about that that you started having kids when you were in your 20s, in my 20s, and this is my only baby in my 30s and I feel it that's funny. I don't have anything to compare to if I didn't start having babies until I was in my 30s. Yeah, and Chris is almost 40. And so he keeps on the really hard nights when we're both losing our mind because we can't get the baby to sleep. He's like I'm too old for this. I'm almost 40.

Rebecca Twomey: 53:30

But I did want to say as far as it being a struggle having a baby in the house again, for these reasons it also has been absolutely amazing to experience it all again, that I get to experience it with my big kids now, because that's a whole different thing and they're so sweet and helpful and just seeing especially my middle son, maverick, blossom into a big brother has honestly been one of the best things in my motherhood experience is seeing him, because Everett already was a big brother. He is a great big brother and he's always looking out for Maverick. But seeing Maverick not the baby anymore I thought that he might struggle, but it's just been really amazing to see that bond form and then also just to get to experience all the first again. So it's like we have big kids. We are so far out of this stage and I get to start life all over again with Haven and that, to me, has been such a blessing and something that I didn't fully anticipate even when I was pregnant. Like obviously I was excited to have another baby. But to actually experience the world for the first time again through his eyes is just so special, because I know how fleeting it is, I know that it's going to be all gone soon, even the hard stuff, even the lack of sleep and the breastfeeding I know all that's going to be gone in the blink of an eye and I get the privilege of experiencing the world for the first time again and that, to me, has been the best part of postpartum so far. That's awesome.

Rebecca Twomey: 55:24

Well, thank you for sharing your postpartum experience with us. It's been so cool to see you go through all this and just to see the boys blossoming with Haven too. Like you said, maverick, it's so cute how sweet he is with the little baby and him getting to be a big brother. So thanks for sharing all this. Yeah, yeah, thank you. If you'd like to follow the show outside the podcast, be sure to follow us on social media Instagram at the Radiant Mission and on Facebook at the Radiant Mission podcast. And today Rachel is going to be closing us out, so go for it. I'm going to close us with Isaiah 41.10. Do not fear, for I am with you. Do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God. I will strengthen you. Surely I will help you, surely I will uphold you with my righteous right hand, and we are wishing you a radiant week. Bye everyone. Bye everyone.